scream of consciousness: confessions of a troubled conscience

who's dumb? scream. consciounce. conscioussness. world. is there another way look at world..
some times i would be hopelessly dumb. but how? hopelessly. whats that? dumbness. that i see a way a grammar of looking at things. is there something like dumbness. may be not. not atleast the other things that exit really. then how's someone dumb.? better understanding of the world? whats that? as if it betters day by day? is nt that dumb? why?whynot? may be not.. cus things /people are'nt like really dumb like me or you? they live. we live. everything exists. time. space. murder is that a dumb thing? conscience? consciousseness? whats the point me typing?
yes and no. we can see the world, not really in categeries may be. may be not. i u.me them. good bad. worse. terrible not bad. all that. world's dumb? may be i am?
but can we be gods? like escaping freudian slips. freudian truths.? may be.. but may be we cant.
world is fucked up. that seems sometimes true. may be not too.. then what is it i wanna type. dunno. then how does it matter.? scream it out conscience. thats what i choicelessly drive myself into. norrow broad? thats another screamatic q. lets wonder. ponder. wilder dreams i've seen. it matters that i exist.. we exist.. it choicelessly matters at times, even if the w is fked up or not..
hedonism. may be that drives me. we cant generalise u see.. may be that drives me, as i am. but freud.. i cant reject.. may be he shd be relooked. but how.. some basic. yea. universal. eralised. morals. may be, even if not 'morals' may be conscience. it drives us. i call some dumb, may be out of conscience. may be out of hedonism. may be both are same. may be they arent. but. base of it. i exist. i like to exist. and may be all of us do. and may be so murder is wrong for me. but how was it right? bot for me, as a i. for some it was. and they showed it that way. then. if some one points gun on me, i 'd feelmurder is both good and bad in the sense that i would probably not mind risking someone's life for mine, or something else just cuz i love existing like anyone else.
well. thats lots of thought mastrbtn. but. murder is bad. now. at this point, if i dont over imagine.
ahh.. but whatsoever. vote for hedonism. to all those sages who convinced and still convince me on whatsoever, cuz thats what it is. i am convinced to love to live to love to live to live.