new blog

:) defining newness seems too absurd now, with me, flirtatiously typing in, these words here and there, now and then.
This is just an effort to start off, start off, triggering some shots in head.
How much i have tried to do this, in last few days, to sit here like this and type.. How much i still don't want to type all this..
flights screaming in the distances, all the last screams, they can, into my ear, before they cease to produce such a reverberation in my ear's drum.
can we drum our dreams? what weird dreams are those?!
Breaking the same broken thing again and again in dreams,and serving the similar intensity of effect, as it happens, when it really breaks. my phone and sole.
in the shadows of light that go of and off, ting and ting, as they go on and on.. like they do, at times when you make a poetic effort to notice them..a conscious poetic effort to effect the soul in so-and-so patterns.
i cant still believe i am writing this all, killing the time, skilfully, romantically and literally.
Lilly? she is dead and gone now. even her memories almost fading there, like, you don't feel the same shock all the time, except that it increases at times, uncontrollably, unlike this time. and that's a real good thing. the way the shock decreases as the time and proximity approximates, and deproximates, like the uncertainty that positively ascertains itself, when you look into the distance thinking about the lost girl.
How it feels to loose? like me, writing, now? like me, killing it all now? like you too, killing it all now?
what are we killing?
nothing.