daypression

today. had to get up by seven thirty(though i only lifted myself into the air against the gravity, inertia and all that only by 8.20). Got up then. Had to search around for the book to go through. history. puys place closed. so pointlessly walked all the way thinking of all that that sg palya can make you do, only to call her when i was almost there and turn my back with bookless hope. sad start as you see, gentlemen! but my spirits were all still trying to be so high in midst of bathless dirt which i hate during mornings, that i was in. So out of pure narcissistic impulses i went on enjoying the terrible taste that i get when bathing is not there. thus the exam hall i went along with those two, j. and ch. was also not a terrific expedition for the day which awaited me with some more bitter chocolates that would make me wet my eyes in the next last half of the day. night, may be. As one sees, everything is almost connected, except that the connecting factor seems like an absurd improbability at times. I wonder why i wet my eyes. Out of narcissistic impulses may be. its hard to live with this disorder you see, NPD. with mild attacks of hypochondriacal schizophrenia. and delusions, accompanied with no real
hypochondria. That was the day, almost like. in the fumes of all that shit-like-smelling things. After I go there. the exam. write it not so badly, atleast not as good as my psych shit. Out of all old traumatic events, whose smells were still very much felt, i should have guessed it all in the morning, that dint let my Nietzschean inertia, choose me sleep. As this very failure of inertia of sleep makes me now, type all this. type it all with so much dedication and all that, as if its my head dictating all these to my fingers, as if my brain is pouring it all here. this stinks,you see.. Finally, in the evening i had to take this bath, to atleast sleep in damp for an hr or so.. after spending it all there in warm solitude, then, ahh.. then i wanted to sleep. which i partially did and partially couldn't out of all thoughts, impressions, interpretations of my own absurd self thats making me type all this shit..
And head aches in the middle of all that, me out for my personal doctor. personal hospital thats the best headache curer. hospital: not so short walk in that long road looking at all those colourful faces, where i see this real nice looking girl and near my personal medicine, that i eat as days like these, the pani puri gampa. then i have it there looking at the dog thats there in that girl's purse. it was nice. hehe.. so i told hehe. then ate pani puri to go back home in search of the second slapping event of the day, that triggered off the grand wet in my eyes.. and the kid sleeping next to this tchch tchch sounds like a eye-closed-cat making shhh shhhh sounds in midst her even more depressive day trys sleeping to calm her first dep.